Getting out. It’s hitting me now.

So I finally get out of the military on 6 Feb 2010, but since I never use leave, I am getting out on November 15th. I have been so busy with surgery and deployments lately that I never really took into account what I was going to be doing once I got out, nor have I taken the steps I need to to start clearing at the end of the month. I need to get everything in order, my household goods to be shipped, the stuff to pack up into my car, and make sure that I have some warm non-military clothing. If i so choose, I never have to wear a uniform again. Now, the question remains, what am I going to do with my life? What will life be like not having to train soldiers that will be placing their life on the line with me? What will a management position be like if I can’t tell them that we need to trust each other with our lives because we aren’t going to be visiting exotic countries, meeting interesting people, and then shooting them. In short, I am so lost where my life is headed right now. I haven’t even had a long enough break to think of what I want to make a living doing. Go back and try and do what I did before the Army, programming websites? Do my passion, photography? Or put the Army to some use, use my Secret clearance, my Satellite Controller training and get a DoD job in that field? Hell, I need to figure things out, and quickly.

So far, the plan is to go to California, move in with my dad for a few months while I find a job and sleeping on the floor of an apartment. I will not be spending my life like that, in fact, I want to spend as little time as possible living like that. I love my dad and all, but I won’t be one of those guys who lives at home and doesn’t go out and make something of themselves, like far too many of my generation have passed as “acceptable”. I lost the job I had in CO because I don’t have two working arms anymore. *sigh* What I would give for my right arm. If someone ever says anything along the lines of “I’d trade an arm for that” you have either two choices…call them a fucking liar, or know that whatever it is they are trading for is something that would bring life-long satisfaction and be worth missing an arm. I haven’t found anything I’d have wanted to trade my arm for. Though now, with the state it’s in…hell, I’d trade it for a good meal.

Anyways, started babbling, so that is the conclusion of this post of which no one will read.

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